Why Are You Running?
by klainecrisscolferforever
Summary: The Hastings were a wealthy family from Rosewood, Pennsylvania who hid flaws and expected perfection. Fresh out of NYU at 22 years old with a degree in music, business and a minor in creative writing, Reagan is heading back to the place she once called home. What can possibly come out of her return? Will she find love? Will she find acceptance? Or will she continue to run?
1. Chapter 1

Just something new that I'm trying.. interested?

Chapter 1 Reagan's POV

 _Flashback_

 _She's lying next to me and I'm the happiest I can ever remember being. The glow of her hair, the spark in her beautiful green eyes, the fullness of her kissable lips, and the feel of her body close to mine is the greatest feeling in the world to me. Growing up in Rosewood, imperfection was frowned upon, but she is the best imperfection to ever enter my life._

 _"Creep," she smiles at me._

 _"I just love you is all," I smile back at her._

 _"I love you too Rea," she leans forward and places a tender kiss on my lips. Soon the kiss became heated and even sooner we couldn't control the pure passion of just being together. I pull her closer as exposed skin is kissed and hands began to roam. Suddenly I'm hovering above her and kissing down her body._

 _"I love you so much. Never forget that okay?" a tear cascades down her cheeks._

 _"I know that and I love you more than words can ever say," I make my way back to her lips and kissed her chastely and lovingly. We fall into an all too familiar rhythm and we climbed that peak together, hand in hand, and completely in love. The afterglow was spent in silence and skin on skin cuddles. I long for these moments because feeling her heartbeat in sync with mine made me love her even more._

 _"Do you ever think about the future?" I break the silence._

 _"I do, but I try not to plan so far ahead," she whispers quietly._

 _"Why not? I like making plans. I was raised on plans," I chuckle. "But I love having something to look forward to and I look forward to being with you and loving you for a very very long time."_

 _"Rea? The thing is that I-"_

 _"What is it babe?"_

 _"I just love you is all," she repeats my earlier words with a sad smile._

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just tired I guess."_

 _"Then sleep. There's always tomorrow. I love you Amy," I kiss her goodnight before snuggling closer._

 _"I love you too Reagan," is the last thing I heard before we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms._

 _No One's POV_

 _Morning came and Reagan woke to an empty bed. The sheets on Amy's side feels cold, so she calls her girlfriend to see where she went._

The number you have called is no longer in service.

 _What the actual hell? Reagan thought. After the 20_ _th_ _call, she sat down on her cold cold sheets and began to cry. She quickly dialed the one person she needed most right now._

 _"Hey sis."_

 _"She's gone Spence," Reagan cried._

 _"What do you mean? Where? Where did she go?"_

 _"I don't know. Her phone is off, and I have no way to reach her. She left me and I don't know what to do. This hurts so much Spencer," she cried harder with every word._ How could she do this to her? To them? _Spencer was at her Texas apartment within three days staying for two weeks. Reagan's world completely fell apart within a few days and she's never experienced a heartbreak as bad as this one. Not when her parents criticized her, not when her older sister rejected her, and not when she caught her first girlfriend in bed with some guy. This pain exceeded all that and more. And that was the first time she ever ran. She ran from her pain, from her longing, from any and everything that could hurt her._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 No One's POV

She was 19 years old when she ventured out on her own to the University of Texas after taking a year off. There she met the love of her life, 17 year old Amy Raudenfeld, an incoming freshman as well. They met at orientation and became fast friends which eventually led to them falling in love. They were together for two years before that night and neither of them have been the same since. After so many years, new college graduate, Reagan Hastings, returns to the town she once called home, Rosewood, Pennsylvania. She found a job in the next town over so that she could be close to her sister and their friends for the time being. Who knows where she'll go next, but for now it's good to be home. Driving into the parking lot of her childhood home, she exits her car and walks to the entrance, bags in hand. She's both excited and anxious to be home. Life at the Hastings home wasn't always easy, but it was home you know.

"I'm home! Mom? Dad? Spence? Anyone home?"

"REAGAN!" Spencer barrels out of nowhere and hug attacks her older sister.

"I missed you so much Spence!" She hugs her sister and best friend for dear life.

"How are you? It's been forever since I've seen you in person."

"It's only been three months since graduation Spence. However, I'm here now and that's all that really matters," she assures her sister. Spencer Hastings was a year younger, fresh college graduate from _Georgetown_ , than Reagan and three years younger than their oldest sister, Melissa. From the minute Spencer was born, it's been the two of them against the world and their sometimes less than friendly older sister. Melissa has always been the one to exceed the impossibly high expectations set by their parents. She got the perfect grades, the perfect boyfriends, the perfect career, and just the perfect life while her two younger sisters are always being told to be more like her. At 25 years old, Melissa's a lawyer like their parents who is married with a baby. Ian was a grade A douche but Melissa loved him and that's something they've all come to at least tolerate. Their daughter, Taylor, is the greatest thing to come out of their unfortunate union. She's a real sweetheart who can really melt your heart upon meeting her.

"You're right. Well, I was gonna go hang out with the girls. Come with me please? I really wanna catch up and I know they all missed you too, especially Emily."

"Sure just let me take this to my room and change." They hug once more before Reagan leaves the room to go settle in. Her room looks exactly the same as when she first took off. Purple and black were it's colors with a Queen sized bed and posters of bands and singers hanging on every wall from the _Beatles_ to the _Supremes_ , even venturing a little into the days of _BTR_ and _Paramore_. Music was and still is her life so to be back in this room really feels like coming home. Pictures of the family, more so of her and Spencer, her and the girls, more so of her and Emily, and of her growing up. It's like a time warp, seeing her past all at once before her eyes. It's hard to believe that it's been five years, and she's on the verge of her 23rd birthday with Spencer not so far behind for her 22nd. She's come a long way from all the hell she experienced growing up in this 'perfect' world. Settling in quickly, she showers and changes into her favorite purple tank, black skirt with fishnet tights and leather jacket with her black ankle boots. Making her way down the steps to her sister, she is greeted by the sister she dreaded seeing most.

"Reagan. You're home," she says stiffly.

"Melissa, nice to see you too," she smirks at her older sister. No matter how many years go by, there will always be tension between the two eldest siblings. Especially since Ian once made a pass at Reagan and when she tried to tell Melissa, her sister blamed her and 'warned' her about coming near her boyfriends. Even when Reagan came out, Melissa still held the whole Ian thing against her.

"So, how long are you staying this time?"

"Awhile. Why? Ready to get rid of me already?"

"Well, no, but just keep your hands to yourself and we won't have a problem," she huffed.

"Melissa, there's a better chance I'd hook up with Emily before I even come near your asshole of a husband, so if you'll excuse me, Spencer's waiting," Reagan laughs before walking off. _What fucking part of lesbian doesn't she get?_ Everyone knows that Emily is Reagan's best friend and is like a sister to her. They hooked up once when they were teens just to get it out of the way, but that's as far as that goes. Not to mention Reagan's pending heartbreak so yeah, hopefully she got the hint with her self-centered ass.

"Hey ready to go?" Spencer asks upon seeing her favorite big sister.

"Yeah, just had a run in with the wicked witch of Rosewood," she shrugs before linking arms with her younger sister and walking to _The Brew_ which was once called _Lucky Leon's_. Upon arrival Reagan is greeted with a lot of noise and a lot of love.

"REAGAN!" a chorus of young girls rushing her way.

"Hey guys!" she takes her time and hugs each girl that she's missed like crazy. Aria Montgomery is the first one to attack with tight hugs and I missed yous. She's most like Reagan in a sense of creativity and self-expression. She used to have pink strips in her hair, something they did together with Reagan's being purple. Now she has shorter blond hair that really brings out her face with highlights. She graduated last month from _Savannah College_ with a degree in writing and minor in photography. Next is Alison Dilaurentis who is so not a baby anymore. She has really rounded out and is beyond gorgeous with her blond hair at shoulder's length with bangs no less. She studied to be a teacher and will be teaching English at Rosewood High once she graduates next month from _Hollis College_. Hanna Marin follows with her beautiful smile and shoulder length blond hair pulled into a bun. You could always look to Hanna for a good laugh or a good cry. She graduated last year from the _Fashion Institute Of Technology_ and now has her own business she started with Lucas a few months ago. Last, but not least is her love bug, best friend, little sister, Emily Fields went to _Danby University_ for swimming, yet majored in teaching. She graduated a month before me and with Alison, she starts teaching and coaching (History and swimming) when school starts.

"I missed you guys so much, you have no idea!"

"Then where the hell have you been?" Hanna teases.

"Here and there... everywhere," she smirks. "No, but I really did miss you guys and I'm back now so you're stuck with me all over again." They laugh and share a group hug before finding a table to catch up. Reagan found out that her friends have been busy and no matter how much she's talked to them over the summer, it wasn't enough. Hanna is now engaged to her high school sweetheart, Caleb Rivers, who Reagan practically grew up with. He was her first 'boyfriend' before being her first best friend. They've been through a lot together with his many foster homes and her wanting to escape the pressures of being a Hastings. Aria was engaged to one Ezra Fitz who just so happened to be her English teacher at one point in high school, however, they have since called it quits with him going back to Nicole, a girl he thought he lost forever when she was captured on a mission, and her finding happiness with Jason, Ali's older brother. Jason Dilaurentis is a very private person who had his problems, but has grown into a great guy. He now does volunteer work and helps his dad run their family business. The most shocking thing about Aria and him dating is the fact that Alison knew and didn't tell Reagan that their brother was dating one of their best friends. You heard right. They found out in high school that Jason was in fact Peter Hasting's son from an affair with Jessica Dilaurentis resulting in the three Hastings siblings to gain a brother and a step-sibling in Alison. Alison, herself, is dating a new Rosewood cop named Lorenzo. All I remember is that scumbag Wilden and that bitch Tanner, but I can't wait to meet her new beau. Emily and Maya have since reconnected since their high school days and have been going strong for the last two or so years.

"What about you Spence? What's new that you haven't told me?" she asks her baby sister.

"Well... I'm sorta kinda engaged," she whispers sheepishly. Out of nowhere, five girls are squealing their heads off. Apparently this is the first time the girls have heard this as well, and not just Reagan.

"Wait! When did this happen?!" Hanna demands after the initial congrats.

"Well it happened a month ago, but I wanted to tell you guys together," Spencer explains.

"I'm so happy for you baby sis! I wish I would've known earlier!" Reagan exclaims, hugging her better half.

"Thanks guys, we appreciate your support!"

"Of course we would support you! We're just happy that your happy Spence," Aria chimes in. Chatter is just slowing down when Alison asks Reagan about her life.

"So what about you Rea? What's up next for you? Work? Love? What?" All eyes fall on the eldest of the bunch, not knowing just the weight those questions carry for 'the runner' herself.

"Well, I worked the whole time I was away, doing everything you can imagine from DJing clubs, catering, waitressing, etc. and I saved up. I brought a little studio just outside of Rosewood, so that I can be close to you guys and be far enough away from the parentals and the basketcase with the perverted hubby," she explains. "The contractor is fixing things up for the next few days, then the designers come in next month, and I should be good to start promoting, recording, and scouting for talent in the next 2-3 months."

"So what about that girlfriend of yours that you emailed us all about? What's going on with her?" Aria asks. Reagan looks around at her friends and her little sister, who just shoots her a sad smile.

"It didn't work out." Short, simple, straight to the point.

"But you were crazy about her, I mean when you emailed us all about her, you were sure she was the one. What happened?" Hanna says with concern written all over her face. Luckily Spencer chimed in before conversation could go any further.

"You know what, I completely forgot that I have to meet Toby and his new step-sister for lunch. Reagan agreed to join us, so we'll see you guys later." Sighing in relieve Reagan and Spencer hug and kiss the girls goodbye before leaving the cafe behind.

"Thanks for that. It's just some things are better left unsaid," Reagan says as she links arms once again with Spencer.

"I know it's hard, but don't you think it's time to move forward with everything? I mean I've never met the girl, but by right I hate her for hurting you. It's time for you to get back out there. The random hook ups have got to be tiring and pointless at this point, don't you think? You and I both know that when you love, you love hard and that you love for real. You shouldn't have to stifle that part of you because some bitch didn't appreciate you," Spencer hugs her sister close.

"I'll think about it, but as of now no strings attached is my niche. I just don't think my heart is ready for the humiliation and ache that it's endured all those years ago. I'm still in a state of pause I guess because it's still not making sense. I still don't know why she left me or what happened to her. I want to hate her so fucking bad, but I can't. I still love her way too much to hate her," she sighs deeply.

"Well there's a sea of beauties in this crazy ass town, have your pick sister dear," she jokes and they burst into a fit of laughter. It was so good to be home.

"So how's Toby? Haven't seen him since graduation," Reagan wonders.

"He's good. His dad remarried a few years back and he has a new step-sister. She's sweet, yet very opinionated," Spencer explains.

"Well, I can't wait to meet her babe." They venture off back home in order to grab the car. They were meeting at _The Radley_ which is a lot further than walking distance. The ride there was spent laughing, traveling down memory lane, and jamming out to the radio. They pull into the hotel and head inside. Haven't been here in such a long time, Reagan takes in the view and is in awe at it's beauty.

"Wow, come a long way for a former nut house," she admires.

"Yeah, the renovation almost makes you forget what this place used to be, what it used to be capable of," Spencer agrees. Just then, Reagan is tackled into a hug from behind and lifted up off the floor. Startled, but relaxing when she realizes who it is, she burst into a fit of giggles.

"TOBY!" He puts her down and pulls her into a proper hug. You would think it would be weird, but growing up with Toby and Caleb was the best of times. Though Reagan had Spencer and the girls, it was great to have male influences like them and Jason around.

"Rea Rea! How's my girl?!"

"Good stud, but what's this I hear about you making an honest woman out of my sister? Without my permission no less!" she jokes to her long time friend.

"Well I asked your father, so I think I'm set," he teases back. "How long are you in town?!"

"For good... for now anyway. We have plenty of time to catch up man. I've missed you!" she beams up at him. He then leads them to their table.

"Hey, where's this mysteriously new sister of yours? I thought she was joining us," Reagan questions.

"She's in the lady's room. She should be back any minute. Let's order a new round of drinks, on me," he offers.

"How can I say no to freebies?" she smirks. They order their drinks and fall into easy conversation, reminiscing more than anything. Just then their final guest joins the party.

"Sorry it took me so long, there were more people in there than I thought," the girl giggles.

"No worries. Rea, this is my step-sister, Amy. Amy this is one of my best friends and Spencer's sister, Reag-" Before he can finish the introductions Reagan is up out of her seat and out of the door. As she moves towards her car, she hears foot steps behind her.

"Spencer, I'll explain later, just-"

"Reagan," the voice breathes. Reagan stops in her tracks and turns around slowly, coming face-to-face with the girl who broke her heart so many years ago. They just stare at each other, with tears streaming down their faces. They're broken out of their trance when Spencer calls out to her sister.

"I can't do this," she chokes out before getting into the car and driving away.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own _Smile By: Tamia_ or _She Keeps Me Warm By: Mary Lambert_ xoxoxo

Chapter 3 Reagan's POV

Not knowing where to go, I just drive for hours it seemed when in reality it was just under an hour. I ended up at Emily's. When her father died three years ago, she kind of fell off the wagon a little with random hook ups and lots of drinking. Thankfully Maya came back into the picture and helped her get back on track and find meaning in life again. Since then, Mrs. Fields has been traveling the world, exploring things beyond Rosewood just to get some clarity on why her husband was taken from them so soon. I think in the last email from Emily, Pam was now in Alaska, baring the cold. Meanwhile, Emily moved back into the house with Maya with Pam's blessing. Instead of knocking I walked right into the house, mascara running down my pale cheeks, to the sight of the happy couple cuddling on the couch watching television. At the sound of the door closing, they both looked up at me and immediately took action. Maya embraced me in one of her warm and secure hugs, Emily ran into the kitchen for junk food, ice cream, and alcohol, all before leading me to the couch for much needed girl time. We ate, drank and watched a _FRIENDS_ marathon in total silence with each of my friends cuddled into my side. They knew when I needed to feel contact, they knew when I needed to feel safe, and they knew that I would talk when I was ready. Half way through the fourth episode, I finally spoke up.

"She's Toby's new stepsister," I speak quietly.

"I'm sorry Rea," Maya offers already putting two and two together.

"I don't get it. Why wouldn't she just tell me? Why would she hide the fact that she was moving to Rosewood, my hometown of all places? I mean, she just disappeared and imagine my surprise when she just so happened to come here of all places. Am I being punished for something? Is this because I rebelled against my parents? Because I wasn't perfect and didn't want to pretend to be? Why is she here? Why in all of the places and people Farrah could've met and fell in love with, did she chose Mr. Cavanaugh?" I cry a fresh batch of tears.

"We don't know sweetie, but maybe instead of looking at this as a punishment, it can be a second chance. I mean, no one know how much you loved her other than us and Spencer. You guys were the couple to beat when you went on and on about how much you loved each other. You thought you guys would be forever. Well, now is your chance to find out if that's true," Emily encourages, stroking my hair.

"I just don't know how to forgive her. She really broke my heart and I just don't know if anything can or will ever be the same again."

"You can at least try Rea. I know it sucks, running into her here of all places after so many years, but you owe it to yourself to hear what she has to say, and see where things go. If it goes somewhere? Great. If it doesn't? You can finally move on to what's meant for you," Maya interjects. I look at these two love birds who have barreled through so many obstacles to get to this point. I snuggled in closer and just basked in their warmth. I had a lot to think about and in allowing me to do so, we continued our marathon in silence, just enjoying each other's company.

RARARARARARARA

After my talk with Em and Maya, I had a lot of thinking to do. _Do I really want to know the truth? Can I really reopen those wounds? Will knowing the truth help me move on?_ There are so many questions and absolutely no answers in sight. It's been a good month since I've moved back home and I am surrounding myself with my friends, my siblings, and working on my studio, which is coming along great. In addition to music, I've done up a room for filming and production for music videos and such. I delved into the fine arts of all kind of entertainment, making me more well rounded for the cut throat industry of show business. I have somewhat of a following, but it's nice to still be anonymous, to work my way up the ladder. It has never been about the fame and fortune, more about the craft and the making of dreams. Today, I am meeting up with one of my already signed artists. She's a fiery redhead who can sing like nobody's business. She has a unique talent and an inspiring personality. Between her and the guy I met in Texas, and remained in contact with, I have two solid artists who don't get along, but somehow work well together.

"Knock knock," a sound came from the opened door. Expecting some construction worker, who are still working on the other rooms, I am surprised to see my newest artist an hour earlier than expected.

"Karma! You're early," I say, rising to greet her with a hug.

"I know. I was close by, hanging out with my girlfriend, so I decided to just come on over."

"Well, that's perfectly fine," I smiled at her. Karma Ashcroft was a force to be reckoned with. She had a southern twang about her, but she possessed so much soul as well. I was travelling for the record studio I interned for when I found her. For some reason, the company didn't want to sign her, stating some none sense about country singers and not being a hot commodity. Needless to say, I gave her my information and promised to stay in touch. We became fast friends and I swore that I would get her name out there if it was the last thing I did. She moved to Philly on a whim after college to be closer to her girlfriend and to give me an honest to God chance to represent her. Safe to say, she was a very welcomed distraction.

"So, where do you want me?"

"First, we need to go over the lyrics for a while, to set the tone and the flow. You know, make sure it makes sense and follows a nice rhythm. Then, I was thinking that we'll play around with some beats. I wrote this song a while ago, but I know your voice can really bring the emotion and life that it needs. Whatever you want to add, go for it."

"Sounds good," she beamed up at me. Luckily, we both dabble in songwriting and it's easy to bounce ideas off of each other. I wrote this song right after the breakup and even after all this time, I never threw it out. In my mind, I was going to make it a hit, something that hopefully she hears and thinks of me, of us. I've successfully avoided her in this small town, and with me working so much, it was pretty easy. I no longer had the same number, and only hung out with Toby and Spencer separately. For the first hour or so, we went over every line and part of the song. Going over the chorus, the verses, and the bridge. We broke the song down in order to make it something special. We then messed around with sounds, providing a beat for the flow and rhythm of the song. It was hard to decide on a ballad or something a little faster, but we quickly figured it out. Soon, it was time to record and give a clear visual of our masterpiece. This was my favorite part of the session. To see my words, my heartbreak, and my soul come to life with the melodic sounds of Karma.

 _Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be_

 _If you had loved me, truly loved me_

 _I learned a while ago that kind of thing never happens for me_

 _And so I go around and just pretend_

 _Love is not for me_

 _I play the circus clown around my friends_

 _Make 'em laugh and they won't see that_

 _Cause you never let 'em see you sweat_

 _Don't want them to think, the pain runs deep_

 _Lord knows it's killing me_

"Okay Karm, I need a little more emotion in those starting lines and open your chest more to those lower notes," I provide after the first verse was recorded. She shoots me a thumbs up and we go at it again. After the third or fourth time, I had her go from the first verse to the chorus.

 _So I put on my makeup, put a smile on my face_

 _And if anyone asks me, everything is okay_

 _I'm laughing cause no one, knows the joke is on me_

 _Cause I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face_

 _On my face, singing la la la_

 _(Background) La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la_

"You can ad-lib on that part. We can do background vocals another day, but let's try to get your main part down now, alright. From the top to where we stopped." After doing that numerous times until we got a perfect take, we went through the second verse and chorus again. Those were a cake walk and was done in about two takes each to make sure that power and emotion was strong. Next was the bridge, which was the most emotional part for me to write.

 _It's not an easy (thing to do)_

 _Sometimes it's hard to (face the truth)_

 _It's not the life that I would choose_

 _But what else can I do_

 _If s(he) don't love me, if s(he) don't want me_

 _I'm not about to sit around_

 _Let myself go_

"Now I want you to really get into the chorus. I want you to feel the lyrics more than you ever have and just let yourself go." A few takes of that and we had what we needed for the day.

"That was amazing," she says exiting the booth.

"Yeah, you did awesome Karma," I smiled at my friend.

"Thanks, but it was your words. Gosh, I've never sang a song that oozed that kind of hurt. Whoever she is, she's a fool to let you go."

"No, I'm the fool, but thank you." She hugged me close.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Yup, we have the final touches and then the background vocals which I will be helping you out with." She squealed in excitement, "This is so amazing. Thank you for seeing something in me Rea."

"It's my job and you make it easy with your incredible talent. Go. Rest up for the day ahead," I say bidding my farewell. I watched her leave before entering the booth myself. There was a small piano in the corner, adjacent to the mic. Sitting down at the bench, I carefully run my hands over the untouched keys. I've tuned it, but never got the chance to actually play it. Sitting there, I thought over everything I disliked about Amy, which wasn't much. Then, I ventured into everything I loved about her, everything that made me fall in love. Slowly, I played the intro to an older song I'd written from life _with_ Amy, opposed to after. She's inspiration for most of the songs I write. Every ounce of love, sadness, passion, anger, hurt, lust, everything she's ever made me feel, I put into my music.

 _She says I smell like safety and home_

 _I named both of her eyes forever and please don't go_

 _I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time_

 _This could be good, this could be good_

 _Chorus_

 _And I can't change, even if I tried_

 _Even if I wanted to_

 _And I can't change, even if I tried_

 _Even if I wanted to_

 _My love, my love, my love, my love_

 _She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm_

Just as I went into the second chorus, I heard a knock on the studio door. With Karma being gone, it couldn't have been anyone but one of the construction workers. I stopped playing in order to yell come in and then resumed.

 _What's your middle name?_

 _Do you hate your job?_

 _Do you fall in love too easily?_

 _What's your favorite word?_

 _You like kissing girls?_

 _Can I call you baby?_

 _Yeah, yeah_

 _She says that people stare because we look so good together_

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah_

"That was the song you wrote me… to ask me out," a voice interrupts. Knowing that sound, I quickly looked up at my intruder.

"A-amy?"


End file.
